A Simple Way To Diagnose If Your Partner Is Biased And Unfair

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Context

Note: This is going to be a dark (but realistic) post. Please read when you are mentally prepared.

In a lot of relationships, one (or both!) of the partners may have a tendency to distort the reality.

For instance, a wife may brainwash her husband about his mother. A not-so-handsome husband may brainwash her beautiful wife in order to emphasize his own qualities and downplay the qualities of other men.

This brainwashing is actually more prominent before the marriage.

For instance, the only way a not-so-beautiful female can successfully woo a hunk is by distorting his reality in the following way: “You are a great guy. But, you know what, you are too simple. That is why people use you. Come to me, I will take care of you, and I will show you how to deal with this scheming world”.

Another example: I once had a friend who was a great epitome of virtues. Glowing face. No bad habits. Intelligent. Good job. But a bit shy and simple. A girl got attracted to him, but this guy could not understand her signals well. Then, another guy (who was the opposite of my friend) brainwashed the girl like this: “This guy is very good. But he is too simple. He will not be able to handle this world well. See he is not even able to understand your signals. Who knows if he turns out poor in bed (such a statement is often insinuated, instead of being expressed explicitly)!”

I just highlighted above a dark truth.

So, how can one diagnose if the above theme is applicable his/her own life too?

Well, I have a simple diagnostic test for that.

The basic insight is that such manipulative people have a distorted view of reality (either due to intent, or habit, or upbringing, or a mix of reasons). Hence, while such people will be able to perform well in perception-oriented roles (e.g. those involving heavy people-management), they will not be able to perform that well in reality-oriented fields (e.g. coding, engineering, music, dancing, sports, physical activities, etc.).

So, all you have to do is ask:

How good the person-in-question is in some of these reality-oriented fields?